can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
