just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So squirting runs in the family.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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