then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
