i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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