He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
