We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The Olympian is in my bed
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
