my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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