I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
