I am in a vortex of obligation.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
