Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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