wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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