hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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