So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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