We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
