And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
