i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
