I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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