ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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