It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
