My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
