i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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