OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
