Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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