just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize