We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
zippers are such a cool invention
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize