I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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