I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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