we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
