that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
