I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Can I color on your dick again?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
