i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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