Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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