I love black thongs
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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