I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
