Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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