He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We left the knife in your bed.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
