I think my vagina is haunted
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
