you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
