Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
