What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
