I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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