Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
