I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
