There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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