At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
