3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
