using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
