It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
