So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
