Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
