I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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