everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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