Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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