I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
