Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
