i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
