six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think people are normalizing furries
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
