I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
