well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
