Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
