Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
