considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
