And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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