First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
