You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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