well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
