Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
