This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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