so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
