I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize