what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
