I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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