i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
