You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
