I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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