WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize